This was actually one of the most important things that I came across these last years.
I heard Jim Rohn talk about Setting Goals some years ago in a seminar. He was saying that if you ask people what are their specific and detailed planned out goals in terms of visions, dreams, desires, projects, abundance and money, every simple millionaire and successful person will give you a whole list, while unsuccessful ordinary people won’t, or perhaps will stop and think about it before they can tell you. That hit me like a bucket of cold water. I immediately put it into action and applied it in my life. I wrote my list and my plan, every single one of them, big or small. I printed them and place them all in my wall and I review them every single day. The impact has been tremendous, I’m more driven and focused than I ever been, I achieve my goals faster and I continue working towards their accomplishments. My goals have skyrocketed since then, my income has gradually increased and now doubled, and I feel more passionate about life now than ever.
Go ahead and do the same. Take some time and start brainstorming ideas. Don’t limit yourself; shoot for the moon and beyond. Don’t leave anything out, TRUST yourself and have confidence; it doesn’t matter if it seems impossible right now, just sit down, start writing and built a plan on how to achieve it, If you don’t know how to get there, do some research and investigate how to do it. Look for role models, people who have achieved what you want and learn from them, read everything you can about them, and copy paste their formula, imitate them, not just their blueprint but also their attitude. If you do this you can’t fail. I promise you. Go for it.
Now, There’s a very good strategy or tip that I’m going to share here; although is very simple to apply and understand, almost no one does. It’s an easy shift of perception that you will need in order to stay on the path and not quit.
You see, when we take upon the challenges that take us out of our comfort zone, we tend to get a little frustrates and overwhelmed because we need to sacrifice many things we like and enjoy in order to achieve our goals. And there’s no way around this, you have to work and dedicate time to any goal you want to reach.
So, this frustration will rise up in different disguises, but one of the most common ones in this particular case of setting goals is the feeling of not moving fast enough towards them.
This could be a killer when you try to work on your goals because even when you have a perfect plan for them there will be steps of the process that consume more time than others. You might have activities that take days or weeks to accomplish, while others you can do in hours or minutes. When this happens the mind will play you a trick, and force you to believe that your goal is too difficult and far to reach, and you might begin to feel frustrated and lose your focus on your task. Your mind does not understand that that is still part of the plan and that you are moving forward towards it.
Look at it like this.
If in 3 months you want to have a Play Station (if you’re a guy) or a Coach purse (if you’re a woman), you have to set a plan for it. If you get an envelope and commit to putting 25 bucks in there every single week… then, it is yours for sure. As long as you keep your discipline of saving and doing all it takes to having 25 dollars untouched every week, then it’s already yours! YOU OWN IT ALREADY!! It’s a matter a time.
So to change this annoying illusion of the mind of “not achieving anything” or “things moving too slow”, you need to change your perception of what a success is in terms of your particular goal. Take a paper and draw a horizontal line in the middle of the whole page, put an x on your left (where the line starts) and a star on your right (where the line ends). The x represents you and where you are and the star represents where you want to be (your goal).
Understand that in order to get from the “x” to the “star” you need to walk the line (your plan) and that this line consists of many steps you have to take one by one (same as saving 25 dollars per week)
Now here’s where your perception needs to be adjusted when setting goals.
Your success is not at the end where the star is; the start is just a result. True success is walking towards your goal step by step. If today you achieved 1 step or are in the process of taking that step, you have succeeded in your task; you are successful, you have reached your GOAL, you own it, as long as you keep on track, it will arrive.
Suicidal thoughts can come when we feel overwhelmed by a challenge and we can’t find a solution for it.
This state of mind is basically created as a solution to a situation that we feel not having any control over. When we feel that there are no possibilities or options that can help with our issue, we will begin to feel frustrated or even depressed. There can also be an overload of negative feelings that you could just end up feeling tired and bored with life.
At the end of the day this is your life and your business, and it is only you’re right to decide if you feel you have enough pain. No one has the right to tell you what to do in this situation.
Many people will say the same old things, such as : “is not as bad as it seems”, “there’s always a solution”, “think of the people who love you” , “that is not the answer or solution”, “only cowards do this and you’re not one of them”, “doing this is absolutely wrong, you just can’t see it right now” etc. The list goes on and on. But regardless of the fact that you could be right or wrong and that what they’re saying could be true, some people are simply not qualify to give you advice on this; and the most important thing here is that you are suffering.
However, it is absolutely true that whatever it is that is causing you to feel overwhelmed and pushing yourself to self-destruction, There’s also the same or worst situation happening somewhere to someone else, but different from you, that person is completely fine and moving along without friction or drama, and eventually resolving the problem.
Why is this? Well, because even though the situation is almost the same in both of you, that person has different concepts in relation to that situation. The dramatic and extreme reaction that you have towards the situation is caused by the concept you have for it, what you’ve learned throughout your life and what you now believe in relation to it.
But as I mention, I’m not saying that it is wrong or that it doesn’t exist, because it does, and it’s there. What I’m implying here is that with a rearrangement of your perception and thinking patterns (mental wiring), your whole story would completely change. And you could finally see for yourself, that everything has its cycle of life, especially difficult situations and problems. Everything passes and dissolves in time. And nothing is as important as it seems at first.
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Speaking of this last phrase, I’ve recognized that the arguments of “nothing is important” or “nothing matters” could probably turn out to be one of the most challenging states of depression out there.
The reason is because this is relatively true. But hold on; there are two sides on this. It is true from a spiritual (non-religious or fanatic) perspective, but it isn’t true from a human practical stand point of view. Let’s go deeper on this:
Mundane Perspective: From this state of mind, saying that “it doesn’t matter” it’s completely wrong. Because if nothing matters, then that would include suffering and pain, and running away from it would not be necessary because suffering or not would not matter to you; if it truly doesn’t matter, then, why do you need to take action for?
Spiritual Perspective: It’s true, it doesn’t matter. Why? Well because there is something out there, call it intelligence, consciousness, or God. Name it as you wish, we all know it’s there. It’s almost like a higher wisdom that goes beyond time and concepts of right and wrong. So, the act of you making decisions as an ego driven human being could be irrelevant, and some say that you don’t have any control over your decisions from that state of mind. But the paradox here is that you are making those decisions, because you are part of that wisdom. Don’t break your head trying to figure that one out; it’s one of the most intense mysteries of lies.
Here’s a little interesting story on freewill.
So, unless you’re awakened and completely spiritual (which would imply you’re not depressed, sad or troubled with the mundane things of life), then there is no real or true argument for ending your life based on the statement that “nothing matters”. Please take a look at an article I wrote about dealing with problems, dealing with symptoms of depression and finding inspiration.
This practice can absolutely help you to destroy any possible Suicidal Thoughts that you might be having.
Look into it, keep conscious and stay positive. I wish you the best.
Learn more about Depression Symptoms In Women
The following guidelines will help you to keep on track on your confidence building exercises.
The task of working on confidence building could be very difficult to execute. It has several aspects that you need to keep focused on. Be very careful in following them and also be aware of falling into one of these traps.
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Stay away from toxic places: This one is critical. If you were an alcoholic and wanted to stop drinking, you wouldn’t hang all day at the bar right?. The same goes while working on your confidence building project. Stay away from negative people, and find the company of those who believe in you and share the same mentality that you have. If you don’t have friends or family members that can help you out on your search, then simply stay away from everybody as much as you can, just work for you and on your mind. Later, once you’ve achieved confidence, they won’t be able to influence you in a negative ways, and people who are in the same mental vibration as you, will begin to approach you and form part of your life’s environment.
Keep focused: Staying on the path is one of the most important things that you should work on. It’s very easy to get off track when you work on a specific task. There can always be distractions arising and things that can confuse you; but it is your responsibility to keep awareness of every step you take. You might be working on a certain method or system, and if for any reason you find another one that you like, you most likely leave your original one and move to the new one. This is fine, but if you develop a habit of doing this again and again, you will continue to do so and switching from strategy to strategy for months or years without never getting anywhere or achieving anything
Practice Affirmations: This is the main tool that will speed your transformation. Affirmations will gradually transform your thinking on a subconscious level, helping you to achieve your desired goal. I have a lot of articles on this site that talk about affirmations and how to do them properly; so I won’t get too much into the details of it right here. But if you want to learn more about them just visit my posts here: Affirmations
Pay Special Attention To Your Accomplishments: Big or small always remember to celebrate. I also wrote another post about it here. But I still will mention here that the importance of this step is vital to this process. Realizing that you are achieving your goals is really beneficial to your mind, it makes it enjoy more the process and keep working for more rewards, it gives your mind a very strong sense of accomplishment and will recharge you with energy to keep seeking success. It basically tells you that you’re doing great and that you’re are seeing results. It pushes you to keep going!
You will see that confidence building is simpler that you thought it was.
So be sure to keep an eye open whenever you achieve anything, take a note about it, put it in a journal or on your wall, keep track of every single accomplishment and read them again and again. See how it makes you feel, and feel it again and again every time you read it.
Learn more about how to be self confident.
Do you frequently feel uncomfortable inside social environments? Do you want to know how to have self confidence?
Perhaps you are overly shy? Or your stomach ties up in knots when approaching someone even just to say “Hi!”
Well the great news is the fact that there are lots of methods which you are able to use that will help you overcome this problem of social shyness or anxiety. I’m going to share one of my favorites below. But first, we will talk about 3 essential points that have to be highlighted (so imagine them covered with ink from a vibrant yellow Fluoro highlighter pen…or what the heck I can actually do this myself)
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1. Do not expect waking up with the confidence of Tony Robbins overnight. All changes happen in little small steps and actions. Make the effort to push yourself slowly just a bit every day. And celebrate your victories, no matter how little they’re. These small victories will help you grow into a more confident person.
2. The very best way to overcome a fear is by facing it. What I’m presenting here is the 1 method to develop the courage to face your fear. What you’ll need to do though is not only use it and stop here, but also search out an entire artillery technique also. And use them! Some methods may be more suitable for certain situations. I’ll give you more tips on this in a future article.
3. As always, if your social shyness or anxiousness is causing BIG problems and difficulties in your life, please consider speaking to a doctor or a specialist. They will be able to expand on this technique, and offer you with many more. They really can help.
So, as promised, here’s certainly one of my favorite techniques for helping you really feel more confident as around other individuals in a social scenario. It is extremely powerful and effective.
That power is compassion.
It resides inside all of us, although it lies asleep in the majority of people; it’s almost as a luxury we feel we cannot afford just yet. Perhaps something we’ll get about to explore when we get over our problems and start feeling happy about ourselves. But, how can we be compassionate towards others when we do not even really feel great about ourselves?
Is that what you believe?
Well, I think we’re better off by taking a look at issues from a different perspective. One that sees compassion not only as a tool for helping others, but additionally for helping ourselves.
So, how do we use compassion within this situation?
SEE THE OTHER People as if you’re looking at a mirror. They are JUST LIKE YOU!
They’re human. Somewhere within them they have fears, problems and concerns too. Their fears might not be visible to you on the surface, but they’re there. We’re all human. They are also stuck in the same box of society and this strange and challenging life. Weare all trying to survive in this jungle.
All of us desire human contact!
We all want friendship!
We all desire to be loved!
So before approaching somebody, remind yourself that they as well might have difficulties relating to others. They might be waiting for someone to talk to about their issues and their concerns. They might be waiting for someone just like you, who can comprehend them and accept the with all their fears. Someone just like you, having a heart filled with compassion and love. And perhaps in time, if a friendship develops, you will be able to help them immensely in the future.
Why does this work? Merely because it takes away the attention off you, and places it onto the other individual. How are you able to help them? How can you be their friend in a time of need?
Obviously, do not force yourself towards them with these concerns straight. It really doesn’t matter what happens after. But it’s logical to see that it would not be suitable in most social circumstances to try to act as Mother Teresa around someone, especially in the event you don’t know the person. Just focus and try to create a space for them, so they might understand or perceive that they’re just like you. They as well are human.
Now that you know How To Have Self Confidence, go ahead and begin the conversation.
Talk to them, learn about them, and their interests. This may lead nowhere or probably, it could develop into one of the best friendships of your life. No one knows.
They’re just like you. So there’s no need to be afraid. They also want somebody to talk to. Help yourself by helping them!
You could let your shyness or anxiousness be a negative force of fear inside yourself, or you use it to let it build your compassion towards others who are also facing their very own demons. Choose compassion! In return, you’ll also be helping yourself to grow as a person and open your heart, this way effortlessly overcoming your own fears, one conversation at a time.
Learn more about how words of encouragement can help you build self confidence.